Moles

I’m so excited! At our “neighbourhood picnic” last Saturday, I heard several neighbours complaining profusely about moles and the destruction they cause to the well-manicured lawns of this area. Now, I know you’re wondering why I’m happy about this, but I have no moles. So, you’re thinking that I’m not very empathetic or something, right? Well, there’s an element of that, too. Mostly, though, I’m happy because my lawn looks really, really bad even without moles, but the path to neighbourly respectability is clear again, for I now have a phantom culprit at whose door I can lay blame! Hurray for the innocent (and destructive) mole!

If you’re like me and grew up in Toronto, where the racoons are the size of dogs and breed like rabbits in every garage, attic and backyard, you will know the constant battle against wildlife destruction and the endless days of inventing clever ways to tie up, lock and even hang your garbage to prevent it being tipped over and sorted through each night. I have, however, been living for a few years in Europe, where all traces of native species were long ago eaten. The worst threat to your garbage there is that your neighbour will go through it to see what you’re throwing away to either report you to the Finance Department for being richer than your income statement indicated or to report you to another level of government for failing to follow some obscure and ancient garbage disposal law!

So, please understand that I have not had “wild” animals to deal with for quite some time. Even in Collingwood, where we have our little vacation apartment, there are real “wild” animals like wolves and foxes so, needless to say, we don’t have a racoon problem there either! So, forgive me if I tell you that I had to look up MOLE on the internet to see what the heck it is!

Well, I began with a very basic search: “mole + animal + USA”. This landed me on a long list of sites dedicated to the removal of this small, furry beast: “getridofmoles.com”; “247wildlife.com” and “pest control-products.com”. (Yikes.)

I tried another search for “what is a mole?” with more success. Wikipedia even had a photo. Yeesh, moles are ugly! In addition to a small feral face covered in fur with no visible eyes or ears, it has long fingers that end in dangerous looking chisels called nails! It apparently catches stores and eats earthworms but will also go after mice.

Hmmm, now there’s a thought: a mole instead of a cat to catch the mice! The mice, you ask? That’s another story!