Another Roadside Attraction

I saw something so weird today! I saw a woman at the side of the road on a blanket reading a book. “So what?” you ask, right? Well, it wasn’t just any road; it was Highway 270, which is about 90 lanes wide. It is a major highway. It cuts north and south through Missouri and at every entrance and exit, announces with big, important, green signs that it will take you to big, important places like CHICAGO to the north and MEMPHIS to the south.

The lady’s car was parked at the side of the highway. I passed quickly – it is a highway after all – but she looked like she was kind of enjoying herself. I’m sure her car was broken down, or something, but she looked pretty happy. You know how people usually look upset when they’re beside their dead lemon of a car? Normally, they’re running their hands through their hair, madly calling on a cell phone, and rubber-necking left and right looking for the tow truck. Well, this lady was enjoying the sun, sitting on a pretty picnic blanket with a good book in her lap.

And, you know what? It made me really miss Belgium. Yup, it made me miss the kooky side of Belgium – the roads, where people pull over ALL THE TIME. If you did a survey among drivers and asked them to name the reasons they are most likely to stop and pull to the shoulder on a highway, Belgian men will say, “To pee”. I’m not joking; they do it all the time. They pull over absolutely anywhere, whip it out and go right there on the side of the road. They’re not at all discrete. They don’t hide behind the car or jog down into the bush. They just do their business, often facing traffic, and get right back in the car.

I’m guessing the survey would also show other top reasons, such as: “Thirsty. I needed to get a beer out of the trunk.” and “Fresh cheese or berries or [insert any food] for sale” or “I was tired. I like a little nap after lunch.” Car breakdown would be about 109th on the list. There are now big billboards on the highways educating drivers about how dangerous it is to stop, but they’re quite cryptic and you have to look at it 60 times before you get the message.

Besides, I’m too busy looking at the other stuff on the roads to read those messages. It’s not unusual to see horses on the roads, especially on Sundays when everyone is out riding. I’ll admit I never saw one ambling along a highway but I frequently saw them crossing “the ring” road at a very busy, crazy intersection not far from where I lived. In fact, there was a tiny stable in my little neighbourhood with ponies, which I regularly spotted pooping up a storm all along the main avenue.

Once, when I was on Avenue Louise, which is a really busy road, I saw a guy riding bareback on a white horse. The traffic was so bad that we were pretty much neck-and-neck (excuse the pun...) all the way up the street. My friends think I just imagined that, but every once in awhile, I ask my daughter if she remembers it too, to reassure myself that it was real! My friend, Debbie, recently saw a lady walking a donkey on a leash on the main drag of her neighbourhood. Can you believe it? Weird!

Anyway, I loved all that stuff and I kind of missed it when I saw that lady happily reading her book at the side of the highway. You just don’t see that here in good old St. Louis!